x days to go

What I will do if I ever get to grow old and know death is more than figuratively just around the corner: Save up money. Go shopping – groceries, grosseries, large pint of ice cream, lots of bread, butter and cheese – stuff my face and then take a gun and a good aim at my head.

Is this a weird, weird world where the least thing you want to do is not leave it with an empty stomach after having been surrounded by abundance all the while? Foregoing everything that would make existence worthwhile seems such a no-brainer – I make my life hell, cause if I wouldn't, others would take care of that.